What do you see when you look at this picture? What words come to mind?

Seriously. Write down the first 5 words that come to mind when you look at this picture.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Meet my real-life sister-friends – Syl, Candice, and Mich.

We’re educated, homeowners, mothers, wives, Caribbean-Canadians, the list goes on.

You don’t actually know us.

But, I bet you could come up with 5 words just by looking at this picture. What if we were dressed differently or weren’t smiling? What if you didn’t know me? Would your words change?

Whether your words turn out to be right or wrong, isn’t actually the point.

The point is that anytime we look at each other, we have biases and we make assumptions about who’s looking back at us.

There are over 20 years of friendship in this circle. And we’ve had some real conversations recently.

We know what it’s like when race, gender, & work collide…

The only woman in the room

The only Black woman in the room 

The only Black person in the room (or person of colour, for that matter)

It happens all the time.

I’ve been in these shoes countless times in my career and while it was always blatantly obvious to me, I wondered if anyone else noticed? 

Did they see me?

How did they feel about it? 

How did I feel about it?

The recent events in Minneapolis with the senseless killing of George Floyd is NOT OKAY. It saddened me. It confused me. I felt lost.

I had to pause. I had to reach out to my circle of sister-friends. I had to have conversations. We texted, talked, zoomed, and messaged to process our way through it all. I asked how they were doing, what they were feeling, & what we can do now.

And if there’s one thing I love about my circle is that it’s full of people from all walks of my life. The blessing in that is the layers and flavours of conversation that I got to be a part of will stay with me for a long time.

I came through that with an even deeper conviction about my work. 

I know that it matters. 

Teaching you how to have the confidence and clarity to step into your leadership light matters now more than ever. We need you.

I believe that as leaders we always have an elevated responsibility, but it’s especially amplified right now.

So what are we supposed to do?

If you felt the injustice of recent events, even if you weren’t sure what to do next, I want to share 3 ways that you can start to elevate yourself as a leader and begin your personal journey to learn and be better. 

And let me say this…

Am I directing this to non-Black women in my community? Yes. Before now, you may not have even been aware, because it’s not your experience.

Am I directing this to Black women in my community? Yes. We also have to look at how we treat each other. Are we a soft place for our sisters & brothers to fall? Should we be? What beliefs & assumptions do we have inside the community?

We all have bias. We all have a role to play. It’s our collective responsibility.

Check Yourself

Ask yourself this: What have I ignored, been ignorant to, or overlooked because it was their story and not mine? Which of my actions, inactions, or beliefs have supported this? What part of the ‘other’ person’s experience have I been numb to?

Get into the most uncomfortable parts of your mind and behaviour and uncover your blind spots. It’s hard but you have to do your own work first. 

Reshape your identity. Own it. That’s what leaders do.

Pay Attention

Just because you haven’t seen other people doing the wrong thing or been aware of your own biases, doesn’t mean it hasn’t been there all along. And it also doesn’t mean it’s going to stop overnight. 

Pay attention to the subtle, more socially acceptable forms of bias and racism that are around you every single day: 

Cultural appropriation. Hiring discrimination. Tokenism. Teams & meetings where everyone looks alike. Denials of bias & racism. Ignoring. Excluding. Uniform candidate pools. Different rules. ‘You’re so articulate’. ‘I don’t see colour’. ‘That’s so ghetto.’

See it. Call it out. That’s what leaders do.

Get Uncomfortable

Hold space for hard conversations. Be curious. Ask smart questions. Admit when you could have done better. Do better. Ask for grace. Learn. 

Call it out. Speak up. Use your voice. Teach. Commit yourself to being that person. Take the hard position. Let other people follow your lead. Be the only one. Use your own circle. Move through all of your circles. 

Use the words ‘I’m uncomfortable’ when you don’t know what else to say. 

Use your legacy to create something new. That’s what leaders do.

*****

This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means. It’s a complex issue with many layers. These are a few ideas to get started.

I don’t have all the answers. As I’m writing these words, I’m also in my own experience at the same time. 

One thing I can do is hold space for the conversation. I invite you to leave a comment and let me know how you’re feeling, what questions you have, what work you’re doing, what ideas you have, or whatever else is on your mind.

I’m here for it.

To close, I’ll say this.

Small shifts add up to the big changes we want to see. 

Don’t cooperate. Don’t be complicit. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Be brave & let your leadership legacy clearly show what you stand for.

Stay well. Be safe. Do better.

Cindy xo

Did you hear?? 

I made something special for you! It is my new FREE career guide, Get Promoted Playbook!

Learn the 10 strategies you can use to help position yourself for a promotion, even if playing politics isn’t your thing. Go to www.cindyharveyonline.com/playbook and grab your copy today!

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Cindy Harvey is a Leadership Coach and Founder of Amelia Dee, a career strategy company for women. She has coached hundreds of clients on leveraging the power of energy & mindset to create success at work as well as designing a magnetic professional brand to make their next career move a breeze.

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